Life from past!

Hell and Heaven - A Theory

I am a male chauvinist, I guess, from my childhood. I don't deny it but I am not proud of it either. So, all my theories revolve around the concept of male species being dominant over the other. My recent theory regarding Hell and Heaven is also a similar story.

I believe in Nature. I also believe that, she takes care of balancing everything; Seasons, predator-prey life cycles, and Gender ratio. By now, you must have understood why there are girls in heaven in the form of ANGELs. If not, let me tell you why. Because, all men from earth go to heaven, she needs to take care of the Gender ratio in heaven. In similar lines, Hell is full of male devils. And again, you may ask me -- why should there be ANGELs in heaven rather than normal girls? Oh c'mon -- this is pretty simple again and it also is a balancing act of Nature. She wants us to experience the side of the female gender, (gentle, caring, beautiful, cheerful), which we(male humans) wouldn't have seen in Earth! And similarly, she created devils with characteristics that are not found in male gender living in Earth!

:)

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EGO - Good or Bad?

Everyone I know, sound this word as if it's got a negative connotation. But, I would argue that EGO is a word everyone should look at positively and if possible, respect the people who have this in abundance ala Noble people. What EGO, to me anyway, a way to let your identity take course of the action and speak it's attitude out to the whole world. EGO is respecting yourself beyond the courtesy and fear of consequences. Lesser people (who have less EGO :)) speak courteously and obey the commands of higher people(who have more Ego) because they fear the consequences and fear that they are inferior. But, really what they are inferior is in their Ego Quotient (EQ). Because, there are more lesser-people in this world than the higher-people, they brandished the word ego to mean a negative implication. But seriously, if you are not self centered and egoistic, you are not really doing anything worth your stay on Earth!

Relationship Conundrums!

I have never been good at relationships and I don't think I ever will be! Doesn't matter though as long as I am able to enjoy my solitary attitude! But, with the limited experience of looking at people around me living in this relationships, I view it as a conundrum!


Now, I know a pair who are in this so called amazing relationship for a few years and yet don't take it forward and I know another set of people who, though spent very little time together, are ready to take the plunge and are ready to take the relationship to the next level.I do not, yet, understand on what basis, do they take this decision to stick where they are or take that leap forward!


Coming to the first case; they miss each other, they make the other person smile, laugh, enjoy the company, make fun of each other, they look like destined to be together (atleast for me though!) and yet they choose not to take the relationship forward. I wonder whether they remain just the same when one of them gets married and not regret the decision they have taken to be "Just Friends!". I wonder, after a couple of years, when they look back at the time spent together, would they ever think, "Oh no, I should have taken the leap forward!".

And with regards to the second set, though they know each other for a very short while (long distant relationship), they were ready to get married and spend the rest of their lives together.I always wonder on what basis have they chosen to take the decision to commit to the other person! They have spent very little time together, they might not know everything about the other person, they might not have had as many quarrels with each other to better understand how one reacts when they are aroused(;)). I hope, with utmost sincerity, that they stick together and have a great life together!


And there is another set of people, like me, who have developed so much phobia towards relationships that they cannot commit to someone and stick to that person for long.  They live in their own rat holes and think that they are so happy alone and stay that way! :-)

I hope, someday, I would be able to solve this labyrinthine conundrum!

Career Directions Since BITS - 2

My mental state in the third year has been utter mayhem. Chaos surrounded my every action. Didn't know which course to take. Didn't know which direction to follow. First Medicinal Chemistry, then Pharmaceutics, then Computer Science, then again Medicinal Chemistry, then Instrumental Methods of Analysis... Uff. I didn't want my life to be like this. I don't even know how I wanted my life to be. But I know that this is not what I wanted. I finished the third year with so much confusion though my cgpa improved like hell without much assistance from my side, I am still spoilt for choice.

Then came the fourth year and first crushing blow in my life. I think it's the only crushing blow in my life. Everything seemed hard and everyone looked ugly. I lacked self confidence, I lacked morale. That was the worst phase of my life. And through it, I have decided to drop that M.Pharm vertical transfer, thus becoming the first (and may be only) candidate to reject the vertical transfer(that is conferred to me after my first year).

Wow. Good or bad, a decision has been taken. A big step from indecisiveness. Final semester of my BITSian life. First job offer. Not much joy though. A thesis under Computer Science professor, known to be a good man. some vetti thrill. got close to some. got away from more. within no time, time has come to say adios. tears flowed down the cheeks, heart wished to stay, mind numbing feeling. say whatever you want, the time you have to leave the place which taught you so much is the unforgettable moment. Packed everything. got into the bus with my eyes moist and my journey into no-dreams land started.

---to be continued!

Career Directions Since BITS - 1

I joined BITS with absolutely no plans and no ideas of what I would end up doing after four years. I joined BITS with that untarnished innocence, village intelligence and little understanding of world-outside. Suddenly, everything looked strange; girls wearing jeans and t-shirts, students operating computer like a TV remote, TT table inside a hostel. Started the first year with the only goal of getting a good C.G. and moving to a better discipline without really realising how difficult it is. At the end of the first year, gradually transformed into someone ambitious, a bit more likeable and amicable. At the end of that year I learnt what attitude is all about, found friendships that will last the life time, understood what career is. But, what it couldn't show me was the direction my career had to take. I was still the same ignorant self, the way I started it. When I got the chance to finish Masters in 5years along with the undergrad, I applied for it, little knowing that it would be another course of direction my career would take.
After two years of Bachelors, I was pursuing a course that was introduced for the first time, was going no where and still unsure about what I should be doing once I am out of BITS. I was with people who are as intelligent as I am, if not more, making career decisions, progressing towards making their life more meaningful and achieving their set goals. I was left to ponder my thoughts of setting dreams and going after them. Then came Practice School and left me wondering which kind of station should I be looking for. Unsure of where I should be heading towards, I followed the herd and went to HDL. Though, turned out to be a great learning experience of my life, it would have been great had I 'decided' to take that decision rather than 'taking' that decision. These 2 months changed the way I was thinking at that time, making me look beyond grades and c.g., forcing me to look at life larger than what I had seen until then. After those 2 months, I compared myself with what I had been at the beginning of my journey, the day I joined BITS; realized that I became a far better person but with the same no-goals scenario.

---to be continued!